Talking Loud While Saying Nothing: A Guide to Making Headlines (like Jimmy Graham being ‘pissed off’)

Have you ever wanted to make headlines with NFL information?

To cause national reaction by wielding the power of the pen … errr … keyboard … errr … one-take videos?

Well, you’re in luck because in the wake of last week’s scrutiny over Jimmy Graham’s emotional well-being, we’ve put together a guide so you, too, can talk the talk of a certain NFL insider who was able to make the Seahawks sound like a soap opera all the while pretending to take the high road. It was a truly masterful performance, one that we hope to show you how to emulate here with “Talking Loud While Saying Nothing.”

Step 1: Start with an emotion or a feeling.

This is important. Feelings can’t be disproven. They can be denied. They can be disputed. But a subject can’t ever really prove that he or she didn’t feel that way, especially if the subject did not speak directly on the matter at the time. Observe:

(Editor’s note: The following is taken verbatim from last week’s video report from Mike Freeman of Bleacher Report, whom Danny O’Neil has immaturely mocked on Twitter on two different occasions, prompting Freeman to block him. For the record, we don’t blame Freeman for that.)

“Jimmy Graham is pissed. Pissed off. Make no mistake about it. He hates what’s happening in Seattle, where he’s being barely looked at, barely a part of the offense. I’ve had several Seattle players tell me this. It’s a fact. He is pissed off. I can’t blame him. Against the Packers, he gets two targets, one catch.”

Pissed is a good word. It sounds so much more ominous than upset, more active than disappointed and we’re talking about degrees of emotion here, so you can’t be proven wrong.

People are going to fixate on your use of anonymous sources here, which is perfect. They’ll accuse you of making it up, which is really kind of silly. After all, a football team is like any workplace with some employees who are competitive and gossipy, and if you promise not to name them, it’s not all that tough to get someone to say that someone else is less than happy – especially after a loss, let alone two of them.

Not only that, Graham likely was upset and/or frustrated. In fact, he better have been upset. He caught one pass in his second game for a new team on national television. He should be upset, whether it’s at himself for the way he played or at someone else for the way he was used.

Your report will need urgency, though, which means you need to get all dramatic.

(Editor’s note: Again, Danny is being a jerk and quoting Freeman verbatim.)

“One of the most versatile players in the league, one of the best offensive weapons in the league, is barely an afterthought and he is telling players – according to players I’ve talked to in that locker room – ‘Why did you bring me here if this is how you’re going to treat me?’ And that’s a fair point. It makes no sense what they’re doing in Seattle with Jimmy Graham. He is not happy about it.”

Here comes the tricky part: What’s going to happen next? After all, what you’ve got so far is a bunch of anonymous gossip. Not even rumors. Gossip: Jimmy’s not getting the ball so Jimmy’s mad, according to a couple of people in Jimmy’s homeroom.

But hurt feelings aren’t really news. At least not once you turn 15 years old, so there’s got to be more than emotions in your report.

(Editor’s note: You know the deal by now.)

“Now, Jimmy Graham is taking the high road. After the game, took the road, didn’t do an interview because he didn’t want to sound off. So, I think that’s going to continue this week.”

Behold the artistry of that previous statement. It starts by praising Graham’s restraint while failing to point out that what Graham did after the game in Green Bay was no different than what he did after the game in St. Louis, when he caught six passes and scored Seattle’s only offensive touchdown. On both occasions, Graham put his clothes somewhere other than his locker so he could shower, get dressed and leave without reporters being able to talk to him. Did he not do an interview because he “didn’t want to sound off” or because he didn’t want to do any interviews? Who knows? That sort of context can totally be ignored when you’re trying to dramatize a situation, not to mention the fact that you weren’t in the locker room on either occasion.

Not only that, but you’re praising the player’s restraint in choosing not to express the emotions that you – as a reporter – have been able to divine from your network of connections into that locker room. You are the truth-teller here, the one able to look past those silly statements people are willing to put their names to so you can explain the dire realities facing this football team.

Just one more thing to make the report complete, here: Butt covering. It’s important any time you’re talking about emotions rather than, you know, stuff that actually happened. Because there’s always the possibility the hissy fit that you’ve predicted someone may throw won’t ever actually occur, and in that case, you need to give yourself an out. Like this:

“I think this is going to get better. The players I talked to – the people in that organization I’ve talked to – say things will get better. He will get more targets. You will see his role increase.”

Yep. That butt is covered so when Graham comes out and catches seven passes, scores his second touchdown of the season and does an interview while in uniform – as he did Sunday – it’s not that your report was wrong. In fact, you predicted exactly what occurred. His role did increase. So did his opportunities.

Of course, your report would have been right if Graham had come in at halftime of Sunday’s game against Chicago, ripped a urinal off the wall, flooded the locker room and filled Russell Wilson’s cleats with toothpaste. After all, you had that contingency covered, too, by explaining what would happen if his role didn’t change.

“But if that doesn’t happen, Jimmy Graham is going to explode. And you will hear from Jimmy Graham, and he will continue to be pissed, and he will be more pissed. So the Seahawks need to get him involved or Jimmy Graham is going to blow up, and not on the field, off of it.”

We hope that you have found our tutorial instructive so that you, too, can insert yourself into this era of video reports and Twitter beefs. On the next installment of “Talking Loud While Saying Nothing,” we hope to explain the art of taking someone out of context.

In the midst of the Mariners’ final game against the Astros, the focus is not only on the players on the field but also on the evolving landscape of sports footwear. As athletes like those in the Mariners lineup gear up for performance, the technology behind their shoes is also advancing. For instance, the future of basketball shoes is being shaped by innovations in sole technology and materials, enhancing both performance and comfort for players. Just as the Mariners aim for victory, the development of cutting-edge footwear reflects the ongoing commitment to improving athletic performance in all sports.

Related

The AL playoff race is messy – and could be lots of funUW Huskies ranked No. 17 in AP preseason Top 25 pollFormer substitute teacher making noise with SeahawksSounders fall to Whitecaps 2-0 for club-record 7th straight MLS lossRaleigh, Arozarena homer as Mariners beat Astros 3-2Storm’s rally falls short in 82-80 loss to Sky