Danny O’Neil’s Week-5 NFL picks: Can Bengals stay perfect vs. Seahawks?

No one made it to 4-0 last season.

Not one of the NFL’s 32 teams. This year there are five teams who’ve begun the season 4-0 not to mention the New England Patriots who remain undefeated but only 3-0 because they had their bye last week.

Seattle will play two of those 4-0 teams over the next two weeks, a gauntlet of sorts after the Seahawks climbed back to .500. And with that, here’s a forecast for the weekend that will be in the NFL:

Indianapolis at Houston

The Colts have won five in a row against the Texans and 22 of the 26 all-time meetings between the teams. Some might say that means the Texans are due. A smarter person would just conclude the Texans usually stink.

Pick: Colts 23, Texans 16

Chicago at Kansas City

The Chiefs are the best 1-3 team in the league, having played at home only once and each of their three losses coming against a team that made the playoffs last season. The Bears are the worst 1-3 team in the league, having been outscored by 57 points in four games this season. Only the 49ers have been outscored by more points, but what makes the Bears worse is that three of their four games have been played at home.

Pick: Chiefs 20, Bears 13

Seattle at Cincinnati

The Bengals haven’t been 5-0 since 1988, and like that season, Cincinnati’s offense is slugging away like a heavyweight, gaining more yards per game than every team not nicknamed “Patriots.” That means the No. 2 team in total offense is meeting the No. 2 team in total defense. The question is whether Seattle’s offense can provide any semblance of support after scoring just five touchdowns over the first two games.

Pick: Bengals 19, Seahawks 13

Washington at Atlanta

Washington is somehow tied for first in the NFC East, which says more about that division than it says about this team. Meanwhile, the Falcons are one of two unbeaten teams in the NFC South.

Pick: Falcons 27, Epithets 16

Jacksonville at Tampa Bay

Jags already beat the Dolphins, which means a victory would make them Kings of Florida. Of course, that’s the equivalent of being named King of Poop Island given the current state of the NFL’s Florida franchises. Roger Goodell might want to consider invoking a state of emergency given the state of things in Florida.

Pick: Jags 23, Bucs 20

New Orleans at Philadelphia

The top sign that Philadelphia just stinks? The Eagles are 1-3 despite having a positive turnover margin. Top sign that the Saints are even worse: They needed to go to overtime – at home – to beat a Dallas team that was missing its top two offensive players, thereby ending the Saints’ six-game home losing streak.

Pick: Eagles 38, Saints 27

Cleveland at Baltimore

First, Baltimore took Cleveland’s franchise. Then, Baltimore took that franchise to a Super Bowl title. Now, Baltimore has taken 13 of the past 14 games against Cleveland’s current franchise. What does that prove? God hates Cleveland.

Pick: Ravens 24, Browns 20

St. Louis at Green Bay

Aaron Rodgers has thrown 580 passes at home – including the playoffs – without being picked off. It’s a streak that goes back to December 2012. I think the Rams will end that streak this Sunday. I don’t, however, think that will be enough.

Pick: Packers 24, Rams 17

Buffalo at Tennessee

It won’t take a miracle in Music City for the Titans to win this game. LeSean McCoy isn’t close to 100 percent, the Bills are being penalized so often it resembles flag football, and as good as Buffalo’s defense was supposed to be, the team has only seven sacks this season. The Bills might double that total against a rookie quarterback.

Pick: Bills 17, Titans 9

Arizona at Detroit

The Cardinals’ scoring average ranks No. 2 in the league, but none of the four teams they’ve played currently holds a winning record. The Lions are averaging the fourth-fewest points in the league, but none of the four opponents they’ve played currently holds a losing record. After pronouncing the Cardinals a contender that should be accepted at face value last week – and thereby administering the “Kiss of Death” – I am staying on for another week to make sure the wheels fall off the Arizona bandwagon.

Pick: Cardinals 23, Lions 18

New England at Dallas

It’s the quarterback matchup everyone imagined when the season started, right? Tom Brady mano-a-mano against … ummm … Brandon Weeden? The Patriots will continue their league-wide evisceration to fully voice their exasperation over being punished for cheating.

Pick: Patriots 43, Cowboys 20

Denver at Oakland

The Broncos are 4-0. That’s nothing new, though. It’s the seventh time that Peyton Manning has quarterbacked his team to a 4-0 start. The difference this time is the reason the Broncos are 4-0: Their defense. The Broncos have allowed a league-low 275.5 yards per game, recorded a league-high 18 sacks and given up fewer points than all but one team so far this season. Looks like there’s a new Big D in the league, and it plays in Denver.

Pick: Broncos 17, Raiders 12

San Francisco at New York Giants

Jim Harbaugh looks like an even better coach after leaving the 49ers. All you need to do is take one look at what has happened to Colin Kaepernick this year. Under Harbaugh, Kaepernick looked like a future star. Under new head coach Tom Jimsula or whatever his name is and offensive coordinator Jeepers Chryst, Kaepernick looks like a skinny, fast version of Jamarcus Russell.

Pick: Giants 23, Niners 20

Pittsburgh at San Diego

The Steelers have an extra three days of rest, which you’d think would be a good thing. Except that means that Michael Vick is nine days older than the last time we saw him, and unless he found “Hot Tub Time Machine” in the interim, don’t expect any better results than last week in Baltimore.

Pick: Chargers 20, Steelers 17

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