Brock Huard tells the tale of kids who made the mistake of TP’ing his home
Sep 24, 2019, 12:32 AM | Updated: 10:44 am
(Unsplash)
Toilet papering someone’s home — or TP’ing, as the kids like to call it — is one of the great American traditions; morally wrong, but a tradition nonetheless. It happened to our own Brock Huard recently, and he handled it the way many of us wish we could.
It all began when he found out that his daughter unfortunately did some TP’ing of her own. His wife sat down with their daughter and explained why TP’ing is a no-no.
“Just understand. When you do that, there will be recourse,” she told her. “More than likely, you’re going to get TP’ed. Or maybe your car gets Saran-Wrapped. You know you’re going to have to pay for it.”
“So that happened Friday,” Brock said.
Clearly things didn’t end there. The other night the chickens came home to roost, and they brought toilet paper with them. Brock’s son ran over to him and said, “Something’s going on. I think we’re getting TP’ed.”
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Brock sprang into action.
“I come bursting right out of the bedroom; I am maybe the fastest I’ve ever been in my life,” he said. “I fly out the front door and our yard is covered. I mean, it looks like snow. I see this Escalade and it’s trying to do a U-turn, but they’ve got their camera phones on. They’re trying to take pictures and video. So guess what daddy does at that moment?”
To prevent himself from becoming some viral video, Brock headed right for them.
“I sprint into the middle of the road and I get in front of them and I put my hand up and said, “Stop!” he said. “I’m standing right in front of this Escalade. I got my hands on the hood. I’m looking in at eight dudes inside; a few of them I recognized.”
“So then I slowly walk over and opened the front door and I’m like, “Out! Everybody get out!”
And they did. But as they did he could hear them yelling at each other: “I told you not to video! I told you not to take pictures!”
The assailants begrudgingly got out of the car like a bunch of clowns, and Brock put them to work cleaning up all the unraveled toilet paper — all 120 rolls of it.
He even had the tallest one get some of the ones on the roof.
“One of the kids was super tall, like 6’8,” Brock said. “He’s the only one with ‘Go go gadget arms,’ so he’s standing on my railing, and I’m holding him by the sweatshirt as he’s leaning out and reaching over and getting the rolls on the roof.”
After they finished Brock politely thanked them and sent them on their way. The only people more stunned than the perpetrators were Brock’s kids, who watched the whole thing from the porch.
“They were like, ‘Oh my gosh.’”
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