710 Madlibs: If the Mariners were golfers …
Jul 18, 2017, 8:32 AM | Updated: 4:31 pm
Kyle Seager appears to be a more ... ummm ... colorful golfer. (Photo-chop-shop by Taylor Jacobs)
(Photo-chop-shop by Taylor Jacobs)
If the Mariners were playing a round of golf they would be: ______________.
(Hint: You’re supposed to fill in the blank.)
It’s an exercise Jim Moore suggested last week. Something he and his friends will do to describe where they’re at in life’s “journey,” whether it’s shooting 1-under on the front nine and sitting 125 yards out on 10 after absolutely skulling the drive, or walking to the ball in a fairway bunker on 12 after playing bogey golf in the front and leaving the sand wedge somewhere after being distracted by the beverage-cart girl.
The fun part was that you can be as general as you want – like I was for the suddenly scorching Kyle Seager below – or as specific as you desire. E-mail your submission to dannydavemoore@espnseattle.com.
If Kyle Seager were a golfer …
He’d definitely wear knickers, right? I mean, that’s just how I picture him. But that’s not really what we’re talking about: how they dress.
See, Kyle was the plus-one for the reigning amateur champion. The guy who came with Dustin onto the tour. You remember Dustin, right? Had that sterling amateur resume and that aw-shucks North Carolina demeanor. His expression never changed whether he was putting for eagle or had shanked his drive OB. He had the Titleist sponsorship the moment he finished college and everybody was certain he was going to be the next big thing on tour, so when he called to ask if his college teammate, Kyle, could come, too? Sure. No problem.
Then they started playing. Kyle was left-handed. That’s the first thing you noticed. The second thing you noticed was that Kyle was actually better than Dustin. Definitely longer off the tee. A more consistent short game, too, and an ability to avoid the dreaded 4-3 that became an integral part of Dustin’s scorecard.
Maybe Dustin was just a slow starter. Nope. Turned out Dustin just stunk. A habitual worm-burner, and that stoic expression was more of a hang-dog look. Now he’s back preparing for Q school. Somebody said he was in Salt Lake City, but I dunno. I stopped paying attention.
Meanwhile, his college buddy has become a mainstay. Kyle is pretty darn good. Birdied No. 6 (All-Star selection) and No. 7 (Gold Glove) before agreeing to a long-term sponsorship with an up-and-coming Seattle company mid-round.
Kyle was even-par when he teed off on No. 9 back in April, three strokes back of the lead and definitely in contention. But he hooked his drive into the rough. Not quite to the trees, but it was a bad lie. He’s going to have to muscle it out if he wants a chance for par.
Seager is a solid pro. There’s no doubt about that. Guy is an absolute grinder who’ll be on tour for years to come. What we’re trying to figure out is if he is really a threat not just in this round, but is he going to be good enough to win a major in his career?
Mariner notes: In the past four games, 15 of the Mariners’ 24 runs have come via home run … Seattle was 1-5 in extra-innings games prior to the All-Star break, but has won twice in the 10th inning since the break.
